Can You Let It Be Enough?

Last week, a former Microsoft leader sent me a message four days after our first session.

"I found myself responding more than reacting."

She shared that she'd had a different conversation with her daughter during a meltdown.

That she'd had more meaningful conversations with friends.

That she'd reached out to old friends she hadn't spoken to in a long time.

Then she sent me another message.

"I'm looking forward to the day this becomes a habit and I don't have to think about it anymore."

We ended up spending a good part of our conversation talking about that sentence.

Not the conversations with her daughter.

Not the friends she'd reconnected with.

That sentence.

Because there was something in it that I think a lot of us miss.

WHAT

When I read that message, I wasn't thinking about habits.

I was thinking about how quickly her attention had moved away from everything she'd just shared.

Four days earlier, we'd been talking about what was next in her career.

Now she was describing changes showing up in completely different parts of her life.

And yet the question had already become:

"How do I make sure this stays?"

That's the pattern.

Not the habit.

The rush to move past what's happening and focus on what comes next.

WHY

Many of us have spent years being rewarded for solving problems.

So when we notice something changing, our instinct is to ask:

"How do I keep this?"

At work, that can be useful. In this situation, it can have the opposite effect.

My client had just shared evidence that she was experiencing life differently.

Then almost immediately, the conversation became about making sure it stayed that way.

That's the moment I wanted to slow down.

Because the second we turn an experience into an objective, we change our relationship to it.

We're no longer experiencing it. We're managing it.

And that subtle shift matters.

The goal wasn't to help her become better at responding.

The goal was to help her experience what it felt like to respond differently in the first place.

Before turning it into another thing to accomplish.

HOW

The next time you notice yourself asking:

"How do I make sure this lasts?"

Pause.

Before you answer the question, look at the evidence.

What's already different?

What are you doing today that you weren't doing a week ago?

What conversation went differently?

What decision felt easier?

Where are you responding differently than you would have before?

Those moments are easy to dismiss because they don't feel big. But they're often the very thing we're working toward.

My client didn't need another strategy in that moment. She needed space to see what was already happening.

Sometimes that's the work!

P.S. One more thing.

After nearly two years and 50+ issues, AchieveHER will be retiring at the end of this month.

It's been one of my favorite places to think out loud, share client lessons, and explore the questions many high-achieving women are carrying.

Something new is already taking shape behind the scenes.

More on that soon. ❤️

Stay tuned.

Until next week,

Jaspreet