Maybe You're Not Confused

A client I'll call Lila said something during a coaching session that I haven't forgotten.

She was talking through a career decision.

Listing all the pros. All the cons. Every possible scenario.

At one point, she stopped and laughed.

Then she said: "I think I know what I want."

A few seconds later, she added: "I just don't know if I trust myself."

That felt a lot more honest than: "I'm confused."

Because the truth is, she wasn't confused. Not really.

She could clearly see which option excited her.

She could clearly see which path felt right.

She could clearly see where she wanted to go.

What she didn't have was certainty.

And those are two very different things.

WHAT

I hear some version of this all the time.

Women tell me they're trying to get clarity.

About a role.

A promotion.

A career move.

A difficult conversation.

A decision they've been sitting on for months.

But when we start talking, something interesting happens.

Most of them already know more than they think they do.

They know which opportunity they want.

They know what isn't working.

They know where they've outgrown something.

They know what they wish they would say.

The issue usually isn't a lack of information.

WHY

I think a lot of high achievers mistake certainty for clarity.

We tell ourselves:

"Once I'm completely sure, I'll decide."

"Once I have all the information, I'll act."

"Once I know it will work out, I'll move forward."

The trouble is that life doesn't offer those guarantees.

So we keep researching.

Thinking. Analyzing. Asking more people.

Looking for the answer outside ourselves.

Not because we don't know.

Because we're afraid of being wrong.

When that happens often enough, something else starts to happen.

We stop listening to ourselves.

We start trusting everyone else's opinion more than our own.

We second guess decisions that felt obvious five minutes earlier.

We talk ourselves out of things we were excited about yesterday.

And slowly, without realizing it, we build a habit of overriding ourselves.

HOW

I don't think self trust disappears overnight. I think it fades a little at a time.

Every time you ignore your instincts.

Every time you dismiss what you already know.

Every time you convince yourself that someone else must know better.

The women I see build the strongest self trust aren't always the most confident.

They're the ones willing to listen to themselves.

Even when they don't have every answer.

Even when they feel uncertain.

Even when there are no guarantees.

Because they understand something important:

You don't build self trust before you act.

You build self trust by acting.

One decision at a time.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

Is there an area of your life or career where you already know the answer...

But you've been waiting for more certainty before acting on it?

Maybe you're not confused.

Maybe you don't trust yourself yet.

And maybe that's the real place to start.

Until next week,

Jaspreet