Pleasing others; gender linked?

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TODAY’s TOPIC

• Correlation between women & people pleasing tendency.

• Why this happens?

• How to balance assertiveness and likeability?

THE CORRELATION

People-pleasing is a common tendency, and it can impact both men and women. However, studies show that women exhibit this behavior more frequently than men. Keeping reading to learn why!

WHY

• Cultural Conditioning: For generations, women have been conditioned to be gracious, accommodating, & obliging. This culture of ‘selflessness’ often nudges women into putting others needs above their own.

• The Double Bind: Women are frequently trapped between being seen as competent or likeable - seldom both. To avoid conflict & secure approval, many choose to shoulder more than their share of responsibilities.

• The Career Conundrum: People-pleasing tendencies can skew career choices & roles women advocate for themselves. It can disrupt healthy interactions with peers & inflate workloads, leading to stress & burnout.

HOW

Balancing assertiveness & likeability can be challenging. Here are some strategies to achieve this balance:

1. Self-Awareness: Awareness is the first step toward change.

↳ Understand your communication style.

↳ Reflect on whether you tend to be overly accommodating or assertive.

2. Assertive Communication:

↳ Use “I” Statements: Express your thoughts and feelings directly without blaming others. For example, say, “I believe…” instead of “You’re wrong.”

↳ Practice Active Listening: Show empathy and understanding while still asserting your own perspective.

↳ Be Clear and Specific: State your needs or boundaries explicitly. Avoid vague language.

3. Embrace Likeability:

↳ Authenticity: Be genuine and true to yourself. Authenticity is likable.

↳ Positive Attitude: Maintain a positive demeanor. Smile, make eye contact, and show warmth.

↳ Empathy: Show empathy toward others. Understand their feelings and perspectives.

4. Challenge Stereotypes:

↳ Question Assumptions: Recognize that assertiveness doesn’t make you less likable. Challenge societal norms that expect women to be passive.

↳ Celebrate Success: When you achieve something, acknowledge it confidently. Don’t downplay your accomplishments.

5. Learn from Role Models:

↳ Observe assertive women who are also well-liked.

↳ Study their communication style and adapt it to your own.

Remember, assertiveness and likability are not mutually exclusive. You can be both strong and approachable.

So, who's ready to step out of the shadows of people-pleasing?

Until next week,

Jaspreet