The Hidden Cost of High Standards

"Honestly?"

"I'm exhausted."

That's what a newly promoted Director at @Microsoft told me last year.

I asked what was going on.

"I feel like I'm working all the time."

"Evenings. Weekends. Vacation."

"I'm constantly checking messages."

"Why?"

"Because things keep coming back to me."

I asked what happened when they did.

"I redo parts of the work."

"Why?"

"I don't trust the quality."

That answer made perfect sense to her.

She had spent years building a reputation for excellence. People trusted her judgment.

Her standards were high. That's exactly why she got promoted.

A few minutes later, I asked:

"Has anyone told you the quality isn't good enough?"

"No."

"Then why do you keep redoing it?"

"Because it's not what I would've done."

And there it was.

The thing keeping her stuck wasn't quality. It was the belief that different meant wrong.

A few months later, she gave me an update.

"I wanted to take the work back."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I let her run with it."

"And?"

"It turned out great."

Then she laughed.

"I think I was confusing quality with doing it my way."

WHAT

One of the hidden costs of high standards is that they can quietly become expectations that nobody else can realistically meet.

Especially if you're comparing someone else's learning curve to years of your own experience.

The challenge is that most leaders don't realize they're doing it. They aren't trying to control people or micromanage.

They're trying to help, trying to prevent mistakes.

The intention is good. The impact is often very different.

Over time, work keeps coming back to them. Decisions and problems keep coming back to them.

And eventually, exhaustion follows.

WHY

Because what makes someone successful as an individual contributor is often very different from what makes them successful as a leader.

As a high performer, you're rewarded for having answers, for knowing more, for solving problems faster.

Leadership asks something different of you.

Instead of being the person with all the answers, you're asked to build people who can find answers themselves.

That's where the transition gets uncomfortable. Because developing people is slower than doing it yourself. At least in the beginning.

And that's the moment many leaders step back in.

Not because they don't trust their team. Because they trust themselves more.

The problem is that every time you take the work back, you're sending a message:

"I'll handle it."

And eventually, people let you.

HOW

The next time you're tempted to step in, ask yourself three questions:

Is it actually wrong, or is it just different?

Will this create a meaningful problem, or am I fixing a preference?

What would this person learn if I let them work through it?

Those questions create space.

Space for people to think. Space for people to grow.

Space for people to build confidence in their own judgment.

And sometimes you'll discover that the outcome is just as good as the one you would've created yourself.

It just takes a different path to get there.

ACTION

Think about something you're currently holding onto.

A task, a decision, a responsibility, or a conversation?

Now ask yourself:

Am I holding onto this because it's truly necessary?

Or:

Am I holding onto it because nobody does it exactly the way I would?

The answer might reveal more than you expect.

If this felt like a reflection of your current chapter, I'd love to hear from you.

And if difficult workplace conversations, leadership challenges, or setting healthier boundaries are something you're navigating right now, you can download my Boundary Starter Kit here

It's designed to help you approach these situations with more confidence, clarity, and influence.

Until next week,

Jaspreet